Local Food Factions Engage in Epic Battle Royale: Burrito Barrage vs Stone Cold Creamers

2024-09-29 16:40:34 UTC

In a clash that has left the city reeling, local gangs Burrito Barrage and Stone Cold Creamers have taken their culinary feud to the streets, with both sides using their signature dishes as weapons in an all-out war.

Residents woke up this morning to scenes of chaos, as the Burritos were being hurled against the Creamers, and in retaliation, they returned fire with red-hot ice-cream.

‘I was taking my morning stroll and I saw a flying burrito hit a guy right in the face,’ said local resident Juanita Sanchez. ‘Then, all of a sudden, there were creamers coming back at them!’

The two gangs have been rivals for years, but tensions escalated recently when Burrito Barrage added sour cream to their recipe, a move that was seen as an affront by the Stone Cold Creamers.

‘They thought they could outdo us with their sour cream? Pfft,’ scoffed gang leader Gustavo Martinez. ‘Ice-cream is the ultimate weapon!’

The ice-cream used by the Stone Cold Creamers is reportedly laced with chili peppers and jalapenos, adding an extra kick to their attacks.

As the battle raged on, police were unable to intervene due to the risk of being hit by errant burritos or ice-cream.

‘This is a culinary conflict, not a criminal one,’ said Chief Ramirez. ‘We believe that both sides should be allowed to express themselves through their food.’

Residents are urged to stay indoors and avoid the area until the situation is resolved.

In related news, Burrito Barrage has promised to introduce a new ingredient in retaliation: salsa. ‘We’ll see who laughs last,’ said Gustavo Martinez, ominously.

Stay tuned for updates as this story develops.